I had a question emailed from a new mom a few weeks ago, dealing with how to address comments from her family about the milestones her twins (born a few weeks early) were reaching, and why they were delayed etc. Her inlaws went so far as to say she was disabling them by adjusting the milestones to the corrected age on the advice of her Doctor!
My thoughts....
You know, I don't think this is a
twin-specific issue, and I know we had all kinds of advice thrown at us
with our first child, from the ever present 'just put rice cereal in the
bottle' from mother-in-law to comments on having him out in the sun, in
the cold, in a stroller, not in a stroller, in a carrier.... why was he
in his own room, not in our bed, etc. etc.
Even
the best 'advice' from a close friend can turn sour when all you really
want to do is have healthy babies and enjoy the moment that they are
in.
All 5 of my children were
technically premies, and the comments and advice still come flying in
from all angles. I only listen to my Dr. and of course to everyone here
on the forum 
The rest, just nod and smile...
Now,
I'm super curious about who says you are disabling them (!!) and to
whom are you explaining things and repeating yourself? Are people asking
you why you are doing certain things? I mean, I'm not really sure what
different things one does with a 5month old vs a 7month old... My super
old 9month olds pretty much ride around in the car, hang out in
exersaucers, crawl around on the floor, camp out in highchairs and sleep
in cribs... pretty much what they were doing a few months ago, sans the
swings and bouncy seats which now are outgrown.
My
sincerest offers of support are to not explain anything, ever, to
anyone or come up with a super sticky sweet comment that only you and
your husband know is a total joke like... "Oh, we really appreciate that
suggestion and I've written it down in our advice book. I'll let you
know how that works!" Or.. "Wow, I heard that is doing that same thing
with her twins, is that why you suggested it?" Or "You know, said we
should do that too, and I'm going to run it by our Dr on our next
visit".
Sometimes being snarky can make you feel better.
With
every child in our family, the ages at which my husband did certain
things gets earlier and earlier according to my MIL... right now, he was
eating solids at 2 months and on nonfat milk instead of formula at
6mo.. I think he walked at 7 months and maybe drove at 10 or something.
I'm
not trying to be too flip here, I just sincerely hope you know that
WHATEVER you and your husband do with your babies is the best thing ever
and everyone else can just move along to the next thing. Be sure to
keep us posted on actual comments you receive.. they make for good
laughs... good luck!!
