1/04/2014

In the trenches of Single Parenthood

Over the years, as I have muddled through the swamp often called Parenthood, I have dealt with issues in many realms - now expanded to the land of Single Parenthood.

I came across some advice I gave to a new twin parent a few years ago, and found it comforting to read over it now.
I know we had all kinds of advice thrown at us with our first child, from the ever present 'just put rice cereal in the bottle' from mother-in-law to comments on having him out in the sun, in the cold, in a stroller, not in a stroller, in a carrier.... why was he in his own room, not in our bed, etc. etc.
Even the best 'advice' from a close friend can turn sour when all you really want to do is have healthy babies and enjoy the moment that they are in.
All 5 of my children were technically premies, and the comments and advice still come flying in from all angles. I only listen to my Dr. and of course to everyone here on the forum :)
The rest, just nod and smile...
Now, I'm super curious about who says you are disabling them (!!) and to whom are you explaining things and repeating yourself? Are people asking you why you are doing certain things? I mean, I'm not really sure what different things one does with a 5month old vs a 7month old... My super old 9month olds pretty much ride around in the car, hang out in exersaucers, crawl around on the floor, camp out in highchairs and sleep in cribs... pretty much what they were doing a few months ago, sans the swings and bouncy seats which now are outgrown.
My sincerest offers of support are to not explain anything, ever, to anyone or come up with a super sticky sweet comment that only you and your husband know is a total joke like... "Oh, we really appreciate that suggestion and I've written it down in our advice book. I'll let you know how that works!" Or.. "Wow, I heard that is doing that same thing with her twins, is that why you suggested it?" Or "You know, said we should do that too, and I'm going to run it by our Dr on our next visit".
Sometimes being snarky can make you feel better.
With every child in our family, the ages at which my husband did certain things gets earlier and earlier according to my MIL... right now, he was eating solids at 2 months and on nonfat milk instead of formula at 6mo.. I think he walked at 7 months and maybe drove at 10 or something.
I'm not trying to be too flip here, I just sincerely hope you know that WHATEVER you and your husband do with your babies is the best thing ever and everyone else can just move along to the next thing. Be sure to keep us posted on actual comments you receive.. they make for good laughs... good luck!!