Relax! Take a long, hot bath!

NOTE: This is one of the many blogs I've started every time I've gotten the 'You should write a book!' from folks. 

This post is ALSO a draft. In the future, it will be cleverly-written, concise, contain a few fun pics, and most importantly, a plethora of links to past, present and future blog posts. Bloggers, writers, people that write more than one sentence at a time, I salute you. Endless blogs, posts, scenes go on an on in my head day and night. But here, I give you my first draft to prove a point to myself. I can. I will. Whatever. Here goes.

My Cleverly Titled Post: (working title: Relax; take a long hot bath!)

You know the drill. Chatting up [Friend, Mom at the Park, Stranger on Facebook, Clerk at the Dollar Store, Guy helping your kid tie her shoe, etc.}  complaining about your two very different but equally difficult lives, families, responsibilities etc. And then, the well-meaning anonymous person says 'Oh, you should just take time for you - go take a nice hot bath and relax!'.

Sounds good, no? Yes. Yes.

First of all, let's be clear here - this is not the same thing as the 'I can't even shower or use the bathroom alone' thing. This is NOT about time you are spending take care of everyone and everything else.

This is the kids are all gone, day off 'work', whatever our 'work' is,  for whatever reason, at some point we all get at least a few minutes, an hour, a day, maybe more, to ourselves. Right? 

I decided to see exactly how this might work if I tried to take a minute, 30 minutes, an hour or maybe even more to do something for ME. Long hot bath kept ringing in my ears. Maybe, because I went to my favorite depressed-need-my-energy-back place, disguised on Facebook as a fun night out, at the Merc.

 Whatever, we all have bad days. I came home smelling like smoke, I stayed up until 4am, and woke up blissfully relaxed at 7:30am, ready for ME TIME. 

A long hot bath. Easy. I got up, and tried to focus on just that. I made my Solei water and coffee (link to getting healthy post), noticed my old toenail polish and looked for cotton balls to remove polish. (note to incorporate this in to hugely-too-long numbered list below)

1. Find cotton balls soaked in sugar water by the butterfly station (link)
2. Get tissue instead and remove old nail polish
3. Look for pedicure kit with sharp things, hidden of course
4. Find 'Awaken' foaming bath crystals! How old? Who cares!
5. Decide to turn on the bath tub.
6. Put away all kiddie toys and bath products - this is ME time.
7. Find bath full of lysol scrub I forgot to rinse out yesterday (cleaning in marilyn dress post)
8. Rinse tub
9. Try to drain tub; seek out and find drain declogger plastic thingy (link to actual product)
10. Remove nasty clump of hair mixed with legos and old bandaids (tm)
11. Re-clean tub.
12. Hear $30 phone (link to clever post about my phone) beeping
13. Check to see if is important. Don't know anyone in Oklahoma. No voicemail.
14. Turn on endless supply of hot water from my super efficient tankless tank.
15. Pour in crystals with a spa-like sweep of my hand.
16. Go back to searching for pedicure kit.
17. Find old string cheese under sink.
18. Get lysol wipes and clean up nasty cheese area.
19. Take out trash.
20. Drink Solei water with a squeeze of orange slice.
21. Remember to feed last remaining butterfly (link) a new orange slice.
22. Try to turn on Pandora from upstairs iPad on my Chromecast.
23. Can't remember password.
24. Turn on Pandora 'Zen' station downstairs, already cranked from previous evening (link)
25. Pre-warm favorite coffee cup
26. Get stool to set stuff on by the tub
27. Find old bagel stuck to bottom of stool.
28. Get lysol wipes and clean it.
29. Find pedicure kit under kitchen sink!
30. Get out all sharp pointy scrapy things and toss them in tub.
31. Look for Solei water (link)
32. Find Solei water and add ice.
33. Pour coffee
34. Go back upstairs.
35. Think about how I should be using my Fitbit again.
36. Find it to charge it while I'm in the bath. Maximize me time.
37. Charge it on Notebook #3.
38. Hear phone ring again. Nope, just an email beep. Can't figure out my $30 phone settings to stop beeps from emails. Yet. I will. (linky winky)
39. Take deep breath.
40. Set coffee, Solei water on stool; iPad and phone on dry towels next to stool
41. Stir foamy spa-smelling water so bubbles distribute evenly.
42. Hear coffee pot beep OFF. What? Ok so 2 hours have gone by.  Big deal. ME time.
43. Go down and turn it back on - I'll need it while writing this clever post that is continually running through my head.
44. Bath time - put two grown-up towels out -- rolled, not folded.
45. Look for face scrubs and masks - maximize time! 
46. Sit on edge of tub drinking coffee, water, listening to calming music and dip toes in.
47. Yeah you saw this coming -- scalding hot. That's ok, I know how to pulse point get body to adjust to hot water.
48. Drape hot washcloths over neck and feet in a spa-like fashion.
49. Hear phone ring. Not beep, ring.
50. Dry hands, grab phone, note that my $30 phone incorrectly lists calls coming in from random numbers on the display. No biggie, not important caller. 
51. Hear facebook ding downstairs on Notebook #2 (insert link above about how I charged Notebook #2 just in case #1 started to update to Windows 10 when I sat down to write this post)
52. Ignore it, no one on Facebook would be urgently messaging me during ME time.
53. Tub time - sink gently into tub in a spa-like fashion. 
54. Note that water overflows.
55. Feel bad about my body for a brief moment.
56. Remember Fitbit and feel good about the future.
57. Get out of tub to pee. Get back in. (This may have happened more than once)
58. Wash hair and put conditioner in it with hot towel on neck! This is going well.
59. Carefully mani-pedi using random over-priced objects acquired on vacations pre-kids.
60. Bathe, sitting in the hot tub for a spa-like amount of time, worrying about all the other things I should be doing for everyone but myself.
61. Drain tub, rinse off in cold water.
62. Grab grown-up towel #1 for my hair.
63. Find missing soccer sock velcroed to towel.
64. Run it down to soccer area
65. Remember coffee was empty.
66. Go back up, get cup, refill.
67. Wrap hair. 
68. Start on toenail finishes.
69. Find good hair shears in pedicure box.
70. Unwrap hair, brush and trim my ends over toilet.
71. Apply pleasantly-scented body oil in a spa-like manner
72. Mist myself with lavendar spray
73. Dress in a spa-like fashion and head downstairs to write this post.

And there you have it. In 3 1/2 hours, give or take, I was able to take a hot bath. 

Beep. 

Ok, 4 hours.

A nice summary of my top parenting tips

Thanks to Seattle's Child for posting a summary of my top tips for dealing with my kids ;)


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BY DEBRA VAUGHN

"Matina Fresenius is a super, single mom of five children. She’s featured in this month’s magazine in a story about big families. Fresenius writes about her parenting adventures on her blog and shares some tips and thoughts about mothering a big family:

1. Write your own story: It is so easy to get tangled in other people's parenting stories of what could be, or should be, but your story will be your own miracle of little bodies, minds and spirits.

2. Children are great 'employees': In a large family, it is imperative to let go of control of household tasks and put up with a few weeks of 'training'. Before you know it, you'll have kids that can dress themselves, cook, pack lunches and organize their own days.

3. Get a floor robot vacuum: The best game in the world is "Ok kids, let's pick up everything off the floor so we can push the button on the vacuum and sit on the couch and giggle while it cleans". Worth. Every. Penny.

4. Build your community now: Embrace the well-meaning people that ask if they can help. Yes, they can. Invite other people over and let the kids prepare for the playdate by cleaning and preparing snacks, while you and other parents sit and drink coffee.

5. Lower the bar on expectations: Just put the bar on the floor and jump over it. In my world, this means letting dishes pile up and losing shoes in order to get to the playground in time to run laps before school. No one in my house has ever worn matching socks, nor do I. Buy all white socks for everyone so no one will notice –that’s great advice from an in-law. Life is colorful and doesn't always match. That is ok.

6. Get out of the house: Welcome the outside environment, the smiles and sometimes annoying comments of strangers. A walk around the block, a stroll through Target (carts there buckle up to 3 kids and let the bigger kid/s push) or a long peaceful drive for car naps. 

7. Prioritize childcare and self-care time: Book it in advance and use it. Ask for cash for childcare funds. Get a second mortgage if you need to, factor it in to every holiday gift request. The kids do not need toys more than you and/or a significant other need a few hours out together every week to reconnect. Instead of paying for xyz toy or event, tell the kids they are having a special playdate/soccer lesson/art day etc. with a babysitter. 

8. Get superhero t-shirts: Buy them for yourself and wear them in public. And a cape, too, if you are the outgoing type. It takes the edge off the "You must be Supermom" comments. Why, yes, I am. You are, too.

9. Welcome the chaos: And feel the love.  "

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Love is love is love

Last month, I was fortunate enough to be interviewed by the folks at Seattle's Child for a story on larger families.

Sure, it was easy enough to spout off about the wonderful things I experience as a mom of 5 young kids. When I shared the story on Facebook, I was unprepared for all the wonderful comments from friends and acquaintances.

In spite of the comments in the story about how I don't think it takes more to raise 5 than 1, many of you said 'You are a hero' or similar. Thank you all. 

I wanted to reiterate why, in spite of dressing up in a Superman shirt, I actually do not consider myself a hero at all. I'm just me with my kids, like any other parent with their kid/s or pets or taking care of their parents..... love is love is love.

Blue Friday

Sometimes, I feed my kids cookies for breakfast. Today is Blue Friday, and we bought Seahawks coookies at Safeway last night. Why not.

Some days are for organic eggs and spinach omelets, that the kids make using math measurements.

Today, cookies and milk.

#parentingmyway

"Wow, you are SuperMom!"

You've heard it before, or you've found yourself saying it to another Mom -- maybe one with more than one child, or one who seems to flow through the parenting river without so much as a stray strand of hair.

I finally decided to just throw in the towel and soak up the SuperMom comments. In fact, I went to the Tween section of Macy's, and raided the clearance rack of T-shirts, scoring a few gems.

Get superhero t-shirts for yourself and wear them in public, and a cape,or a bright purple wig, too, if you are the outgoing type. Takes the edge off the "You must be Supermom" comments. Why, yes, I am. You are, too.

When to stop having kids!

I have seen many articles citing the do's and don'ts, pros and cons, of having more than one child.

I am often asked whether having one set of twins first make it easier or harder to decide whether to have another child, especially if you think you might have another set of twins? 

In my case, the joys and hardships of having twins, while my oldest son was only 17months old, convinced me that I did want to have another child.

In fact, I eagerly, secretly, hoped I'd have another set of twins.

In spite of the fact that I had very difficult pregnancies and grew super huge due to tons of swelling, I enjoyed every minute of it.

When the babies were born, my older 3 kids were thrilled and did everything to help and participate from day one.

Now that my youngest twins are 4, and the older set are 7 and my oldest is 8, things continue to be joyful, and hard of course.

How to decide...well, for one thing, time between emails takes a lot longer. 

And, if you like to shower regularly, perhaps 2 or 3 kids is enough. But, there is a baby for each older twin to play with... depending on the ages of the kids.

My best tips today:

1. Get a Floor Robot vacuum (Roomba) - the best game in the world is 'Ok kids, let's pick up everything off the floor so we can push the button on the vacuum and sit on the couch and giggle while it cleans". Worth.Every.Penny.
   
2. Build your community now. Embrace the well-meaning people that ask if they can help. Yes, they can. Invite other people over and let the kids prepare for the playdate by cleaning and preparing snacks, while you and other parents sit and drink coffee.

Lower the bar

You have heard it before. Lower the bar on expectations. 

Let's take that a step further - just put the bar on the floor and jump over it. In my world, this means letting dishes pile up and losing shoes in order to get to the playground in time to run laps before school. No one in my house has ever worn matching socks.

Contrary to advice from my former in-laws, I also decided not to 'Buy all white socks for everyone so no one will notice mismatched socks'. Life is colorful and doesn't always match. That is ok.

In the trenches of Single Parenthood

Over the years, as I have muddled through the swamp often called Parenthood, I have dealt with issues in many realms - now expanded to the land of Single Parenthood.

I came across some advice I gave to a new twin parent a few years ago, and found it comforting to read over it now.
I know we had all kinds of advice thrown at us with our first child, from the ever present 'just put rice cereal in the bottle' from mother-in-law to comments on having him out in the sun, in the cold, in a stroller, not in a stroller, in a carrier.... why was he in his own room, not in our bed, etc. etc.

Even the best 'advice' from a close friend can turn sour when all you really want to do is have healthy babies and enjoy the moment that they are in.

All 5 of my children were technically premies, and the comments and advice still come flying in from all angles. I only listen to my Dr. and of course to everyone here on the forum 

The rest, just nod and smile...

Now, I'm super curious about who says you are disabling them (!!) and to whom are you explaining things and repeating yourself? Are people asking you why you are doing certain things? I mean, I'm not really sure what different things one does with a 5month old vs a 7month old... My super old 9month olds pretty much ride around in the car, hang out in exersaucers, crawl around on the floor, camp out in highchairs and sleep in cribs... pretty much what they were doing a few months ago, sans the swings and bouncy seats which now are outgrown.

My sincerest offers of support are to not explain anything, ever, to anyone or come up with a super sticky sweet comment that only you and your husband know is a total joke like... "Oh, we really appreciate that suggestion and I've written it down in our advice book. I'll let you know how that works!" Or.. "Wow, I heard that is doing that same thing with her twins, is that why you suggested it?" Or "You know, said we should do that too, and I'm going to run it by our Dr on our next visit".

Sometimes being snarky can make you feel better.

With every child in our family, the ages at which my husband did certain things gets earlier and earlier according to my MIL... right now, he was eating solids at 2 months and on nonfat milk instead of formula at 6mo.. I think he walked at 7 months and maybe drove at 10 or something.

I'm not trying to be too flip here, I just sincerely hope you know that WHATEVER you and your husband do with your babies is the best thing ever and everyone else can just move along to the next thing. Be sure to keep us posted on actual comments you receive.. they make for good laughs... good luck!!

Help -- I can't get out of the house!

It is hard enough to get out with one brand new baby, but many Moms of Multiples wonder... How will I ever be able to get outside of the house!!: 

Yes, we get out! I've taken all give of my kids to Mexican food by myself...ok just once, but it worked. I've taken them all to a wedding. I've taken them to Halloween parties and trick-or-treating, and to a Halloween carnival, no stroller, at my First Grader's school... insane.. Enlisted the help of other kids' aunts and uncles. No sweat. Glowsticks around each of their necks!!

And yes, there are the usual tips about packing the night before, having spare things in your car at all times, etc. But, I think the main thing to prepare for is taking time for yourself so you feel confident that you can get out and do things.


As I type this, I've just returned from our morning outing -- piling all 5 in the van to drive 6 blocks to drop off #5 at school, then drive-thru banking and then back home to work on the 9 full laundry baskets piling up from the 5 of 7 of us who had that nasty stomach virus the past week. There are 5 more baskets of laundry upstairs. But, blessed are the loads of mostly towels the kids can hang on racks. Our bathrooms have a bunch of hooks drilled into the walls for kids to hang clothes. We have commercial napkin holders. We are looking for bench seating for the kitchen :)

You you you!  Sure, it is great to do things for the kids. But, take time to find one or two things YOU love to do and make the kids do it with you, for you, etc. Whether it be thrift store shopping, going to the gym, walking outside, driving around in the car listening to music or dancing in your pajamas, they will pick up and love your little quirks if you force them to.

In fact, did you know your kids can paint your toenails and give you one of the best pedicures you've ever had? I'm dead serious. Stay tuned for that tutorial and pictures!!

Bath, and beyond

A reader once asked me how to entertain twins during that 1 to 2 year stage. 


Outside of all the other fantastic Seattle events and playrooms, another suggestion is to NOT try to entertain them and let them entertain each other.

Depending on the setup of your house/yard etc, stepping back and taking a deep breath and carrying on with a semblance of a normal activity can be refreshing and a good photo op. If you have laundry to do, first set them both down and dump it all out on them and let them crawl through it and mess it all up to the point of exhaustion -- thinking about it can seem dicey, but really how long does it take to pick up again, especially if you make it fun for them (peekaboo etc.)... my youngest twins, at barely over a year, were already well engaged in the spray bottles with water, dry mop and rags, 'cleaning' walls, tables, vacuuming etc. whenever I simply didn't want to go out.

Next, there is the empty bathtub with 2 little cups of those pudding things (99cents at most Bartells and dollar stores)... they can finger paint each other and the walls and lick it all off... and at the end, whoosh bathy go bye bye.

Of course, this all depends on your mess tolerance, but I have learned -- or convinced myself -- that some messes are so easy to clean up and so fun to watch, that it makes it worth while. My youngest twins are now 2 and they, unlike my older set, really play so well together, with that evil glimmer in their eyes as they dump out each others dresser drawers... but I digress.

And then there is yardwork...

Regular errands work well too, depending on shopping cart tolerance.

Sometimes, rather than avoid all the comments, it is fun to just go to Target, grab a Starbucks and slowly walk through all the aisles, stopping to chat with each and every interested stranger who wants to know 'are they twins, are they identical etc'.


Thoughts?

Today I gave away all our toys....

Today I gave away all our toys. Ok, not all of them, but I got your attention, didn't I?

It isn't even Halloween, but the stores are already buzzing with that toy-stocking shelf-luring glitter that will be Christmas present overload in just a few short months.

A few years ago, when I just had 3 children under 3 -- a 2 1/2 year old and a pair of 1 year olds -- I started trying to figure out just what they needed and what they didn't, and I ended up getting way too many things in our house. There were some power struggles over who got to play with any toy, and the babies were often placed in contraptions meant to keep them safe from our then-aggressive 2 1/2 year old son.

Fast forward a few years to 5-year old big brother, 3 1/2 year old little brother and sister, and 1 year old littlest brother and sister. Twins or no twins, boys or girls, the bottom line is I've just simply got a lot of kids.

And the stuff was driving me nuts. Your best friend if you have multiple kids? A big empty room -- even a garage.

I've also discovered by chance that sometimes the littler ones do really well with things that are meant for their older siblings. 

Enter the Goodwill lego table with a box of duplos. Our littlest ones will stand at that table on both sides and drop legos in and out of it for literally hours. Just behind it is a window sill looking out into our front yard. On that silly are a few spaced out legos. Next to that window is an empty bookshelf. Every day a few things are placed on it -- an empty tin can, a wooden spoon, a piece of an old belt, or, more legos! Walk or crawl a few steps the other direction to our leather couch... with shoes tossed all over it. Hours of velcro fun. Hook a few shoes together and give each baby one end... whoohoo!

When older siblings are present, we give them the power to direct, create, interact. They build lego towers for 'twinzilla' to knock over. They set timers for the little ones to move from station to station. They play dress-up clothes and run around the room while the littler ones look on in awe.

The older siblings of course have big kid toys, but they spend a large amount of time in our relatively toyless family room/kitchen doing things like playing a sink full of 'dirty' kid dishes. Add something like a turkey baster for hours of bubbly fun. Also popular is pretending to clean -- rags and water go a long way in our home. For the tool-inclined, a safe-ish screwdriver and an old baby gate to take apart and put back together work miracles.

And, let's not forget actual helping:

In the house - our 3 and 5yr olds load/unload the dishwasher, make their own breakfasts (and ours -- I've eaten toast, string cheese and soymilk with frozen berries in it... ). They help prepare meals, grating cheese, cracking eggs -- buy a Sam's club size egg carton or 2 and let them practice.. scramble the eggs all up, and presto -- they've learned how to crack eggs and you have lunch. A stick of brussel sprouts and a dull butter knife are fun too.
They help fold and put away laundry -- yes, it takes a long time . They dress themselves.  My kids go out often looking like bag ladies, or else my 5yr old wants to wear his 'dress pants' and a tie... usually hooked to a 'fancy' tshirt. People think I make him wear it.

They change diapers, prepare baby food, buckle/unbuckle carseats, fill sippy cups, and entertain babies in highchairs by running/screaming up and down the hallway. 

In these times, you might find that less really is... well... more!

Pears for the pair!

When it comes to feeding twins, or any baby for that matter, a lot of parents take it all too seriously. Yes, you are supposed to start out with one thing, watch for allergies, monitor any small child while eating etc. But, that doesn't mean every single thing you give your kids and/or babies has to be pureed to the point of dribbling off the highchair or chopped so finely that you need a magnifying glass to see it.

Whole fruit has a great experience and sensory value for babies and kids alike. Give it a try. Pears are great because the 'core' isn't too hard and the stem pulls off easily! Just wash well, buy organic if you can and go go go!

Back to school for your kids?

Whether it is back to school, or entering school for the very first time, this entire process can be overwhelming for both parents and kids. What are some of the things you've done to make it easier on you? On your kids?

How to deal with unwanted advice about raising twins

 I had a question emailed from a new mom a few weeks ago, dealing with how to address comments from her family about the milestones her twins (born a few weeks early) were reaching, and why they were delayed etc. Her inlaws went so far as to say she was disabling them by adjusting the milestones to the corrected age on the advice of her Doctor!

My thoughts....

You know, I don't think this is a twin-specific issue, and I know we had all kinds of advice thrown at us with our first child, from the ever present 'just put rice cereal in the bottle' from mother-in-law to comments on having him out in the sun, in the cold, in a stroller, not in a stroller, in a carrier.... why was he in his own room, not in our bed, etc. etc.

Even the best 'advice' from a close friend can turn sour when all you really want to do is have healthy babies and enjoy the moment that they are in.

All 5 of my children were technically premies, and the comments and advice still come flying in from all angles. I only listen to my Dr. and of course to everyone here on the forum

The rest, just nod and smile...

Now, I'm super curious about who says you are disabling them (!!) and to whom are you explaining things and repeating yourself? Are people asking you why you are doing certain things? I mean, I'm not really sure what different things one does with a 5month old vs a 7month old... My super old 9month olds pretty much ride around in the car, hang out in exersaucers, crawl around on the floor, camp out in highchairs and sleep in cribs... pretty much what they were doing a few months ago, sans the swings and bouncy seats which now are outgrown.

My sincerest offers of support are to not explain anything, ever, to anyone or come up with a super sticky sweet comment that only you and your husband know is a total joke like... "Oh, we really appreciate that suggestion and I've written it down in our advice book. I'll let you know how that works!" Or.. "Wow, I heard that is doing that same thing with her twins, is that why you suggested it?" Or "You know, said we should do that too, and I'm going to run it by our Dr on our next visit".

Sometimes being snarky can make you feel better.

With every child in our family, the ages at which my husband did certain things gets earlier and earlier according to my MIL... right now, he was eating solids at 2 months and on nonfat milk instead of formula at 6mo.. I think he walked at 7 months and maybe drove at 10 or something.

I'm not trying to be too flip here, I just sincerely hope you know that WHATEVER you and your husband do with your babies is the best thing ever and everyone else can just move along to the next thing. Be sure to keep us posted on actual comments you receive.. they make for good laughs... good luck!!

Jumping for Joy

I hadn't been to Arena Sports Inflatables in quite some time, and was pleased to find out that they have totally revised their indoor play zone!

They are even open on weekend mornings -- check it out!

Spring is just around the corner...

Or at least it should be! All this rain have you feeling soggy and trapped inside with the kiddos? Thinking back on our favorite rainy-day parks, I remembered this piece I did for Red Tri -- one of the best rainy-day neighborhoods in my opinion.

---



Ready to turn over a new leaf? Try Maple. Seattle’s often overlooked Maple Leaf neighborhood features several must-dos for tots.
Where to play: Start at Maple Leaf Park and playground. No soggy wood chips here—brilliantly layered gravel simply drains the raindrops and keeps kiddos dry if they take a tumble. With a mix of retro steel climber toys and newer gadgets, this park has something for all.
Fuel up: Next stop, a short walk up to Cloud City Coffee. Its open floor plan, comfy couches, free wi-fi and kiddie play area make Cloud City a perfect place to recharge. Enjoy their wide range of tasty kid and adult menu items. No time to sit? We love the coffee honor bar, where drip coffee is just a buck. Green tip: Bring your own travel mug, drop in a dollar, and head out for more adventuring.
Bonus: Get craft items at Beadworld or stop by the Northwest Puppet Center for a weekend puppet show or weekday Puppet Museum tour.
Possible lunch spot: Gluten-free and kid-sized pasta options available at Cafe Piccolo, or try Maple Leaf Grill.
How to dress: comfy walking shoes and layers, in case the weather gets nice.
Cost of trip: Inexpensive to moderate.
Approximate travel time: about 15 minutes north of downtown Seattle.
Online: Check out the Maple Leaf Life blog for current news and events and links to other nearby neighborhood blogs. Want more restaurant reviews, ratings, and photos? Looking for a kids’ book group?  All this and more is available at Maple Leaf Life.

The latest from Livingsocial --@livingsocial please help me!

Today, many days after I'd contacted customer service again about the problem I had on the Fandango deal, I received  reply. I was very excited. That excited soon turned into disappointment when I saw the reply was simply a generic reply, once again telling me that I must not have used the correct link to share out... Here is their email:

Thanks for getting in on a great deal and for spreading the word about LivingSocial. We really appreciate it! We bet you’re wondering why you didn’t get your deal for free, right? Just so you know, our referral links are tracked by our system, so when one is used, the purchase is automatically associated with your account.  When the third referral purchase has been successfully processed, it’s tagged to your account and you're not charged for your deal. Unfortunately, your account does not show that three users made purchases through the referral link generated for you when you purchased the deal. We offer multiple opportunities to share deals, so next time, make sure you are sharing the special referral link given to you AFTER you make a purchase by clicking the blue ‘Copy’ button. We are beyond flattered that you shared information on our deals with your friends and we want to ensure you get credit for your efforts.  In the future, please be sure to “emphasize” (“air quotes” work well!) to those you refer that they must use the specific link you provide to purchase the deal, in order for you to receive credit for the referral. Since this is an automated process, us humans cannot manually link purchases from other sources to your account to provide referral credit. In the words of the silver-tongued crooner Stevie Wonder, “that’s what (your) friends are for.” Still, we truly apologize that things didn't work out this time, but totally encourage you to continue spreading the word, as you have the potential to receive each of your purchases free with our referral program. Thanks for LivingSocial! P.S. If you still have questions, please reply to this email, or call us at 877-521-4191 (US) or 0-800-014-8431 (UK).

Livingsocial Deal Site Letdown

I've been a long time supporter of deal sites such as Groupon, Mamapedia and others. I also found a site called Livingsocial.com, and thought it to be innovative and, so I thought, a good deal. They don't give the same type of referral credit the other sites do. Instead, you have to buy the product first and then share the specific link they email you with your friends. They are betting on you buying it with the hopes you'll get a free deal if 3 friends buy. After you buy, the link also shows up below your purchase with the option to share it out on your favorite social media sites, or email your friends directly-- sounds easy, or so I thought.

I tried it with the Cinebarre deal, sharing it over Facebook, Twitter and all of my preschool groups. Several Moms I know bought, but Livingsocial's only suggestion when contacted was to ask the Moms to cancel their orders and buy again from my link. Ummmm no, not going to do that. Moms are busy enough.

I've now been burned by them 3 times -- once for Cinebarre, once for the hugely popular Amazon.com deal, and now, for the Fandango deal. I share the deal with thousands via email, Facebook, and Twitter. Each time, I've personally known a few folks that bought, including those I've actually helped buy from my link on their laptops.  Livingsocial customer service  has refused to assist me, stating that I must have done something wrong!! In spite of the fact their Web site says "We're not satisfied unless you're jumping for joy. Call, email, tweet (or, hey, fax) us with any issue and we'll make it right.", and in spite of the fact that the purchase price here was under $10, they've ignored my emails, and most recently, asked that I call them because I must not be aware of how to correctly share the link!

As the founder and CEO of a local Seattle software startup, operating with affiliate links and every type of web code you can imagine, for over 10 years, I beg to differ! And, as a mom of 5 kids under 5 including 2 4month old babies, I'm hardly going to sit on the phone and verify that yes, I can share a link.

The only time I can get a reply from them is on Twitter, which I respect. However, trying to explain the problem in tweets is getting annoying!

Now, what is my goal here you might ask? Not to get a lousy 10 bucks back. No, in fact today I bought another deal from Livingsocial using a friend's link. We will see if she gets credit. Is it is cookie issue? A tracking issue unique to my account? Or a ploy hoping no one will really ever know if they actually got 3 friends to buy.

At any rate, Livingsocial.com is going to the bottom of my deal site favorites until this mess is cleared up.

Rainy days got you feeling trapped inside?

If you find yourself turning to the computer when bad weather keeps you inside, read some words of advice I penned for Red Tricycle, and please send me any other Web sites you find helpful!

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When it comes to kids and computers, you may be torn between handing over the mouse and keyboard, or shuffling Junior outside to get back to nature. Never fear—there exists a balance and we’ll show you where to start.

1. National Geographic Kids has been around since 1975. An interactive and appealing mix of articles, games, videos and activities for kids that focus on wildlife, science, technology, and world wonders, this site will have you thinking, too.

2. The Washington State Department of Ecology sorts out the nitty gritty recycling details, and includes some fun games to challenge you both.

3. The US Department of Energy features Tinker Bell guiding kids through some educational activities, including real action items for the home the kids can do together.

4. Holiday appropriate Treetures teaches us how important trees are to our environment. Seattle’s Saving Water Partnership features a nifty game to give kids—and parents—tips about household water conservation. Upon completion, they learn how much water they saved, rank their high score, and can print out winner’s certificates and an at-home checklist. 4.

5. Let’s wrap up with Kidsrgreen—a clever site that has games, songs, and links to even more sites for next time.

NOTE:  The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) considers computer time screentime too. Guidelines and resources are available from the AAP’s SafetyNet site.

This post appeared in Red Tricycle 12-21-2009

2 for 1 Bargains - not just for twins in Seattle

As a Seattle parent of multiples -- or a parent anywhere for that matter, you are probably already seeking out 2-for-1 deals, twin bargains, or savings all around!

Now that I'm on my second set of twins, and my 4th and 5th children, I find myself with so little time to scour the internet, so when I find good deals like these, I want to share with parents of multiple kids first!

You can sign up for these sites for any city, not just Seattle. They all have GREAT customer service policies and excellent refunds should you not like the deal you bought. Tested by yours truly.

Groupon is most famous perhaps.

Tippr is newer, but really great deals have come from this site, including meals, massages, hair salons and more.

LocalTwist is adding more cities every day. Remember, you can sign up and change your city any time.


Mamapedia isn't just for mamas, but it does have tons of parent-friendly bargains and again, a fab customer service department.

Let me know if you try any of these, and what you think!